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What Would Mrs. Potato Head Put In Mr.’s Butt Storage?

*Please note this page contains affiliate links. That means if you click and buy stuff, we get moneys!*

So you’re headed to Walt Disney World. Congratulations – you’re broke for 8 weeks afterwards!!!

Before you go, assuming you haven’t already read Fallon’s post on Park Bag Essentials, here’s some other stuff you’ll want to bring along on your WDW vacation:

  • For starters, get one of those pop-up clothes hampers. It doesn’t so much help. But’s it’s nice to easily dispose of swass & underboob sweat-soaked clothes in a single handy dandy place.
  • Good shoes
  • Another pair of good shoes
  • A third pair of good shoes. Foot-swass and 20,000 steps/day is some for real punishment
  • Good socks too. Performance/athletic ones. With arch support and padding and science stuff.
  • Rain ponchos. Imean, you’ll forget to wear them. But you oughta have them.
  • Bailey’s for breakfast, other booze of choice to help wind down after a day of being around too many people and a half.
  • Water (see point 3)
  • Filtered water bottle
  • Waterbed (hotels don’t supply these like they used to)
  • Jello (for inside your travel waterbed)
  • A toque. AKA a beanie. Because we only seem to get to Orlando in the winter months. I’m told it gets sweltering but if you’re there in December/January like we tend to be – toque up chumps.
  • Tylenol – for foot and general joint pain
  • Advil – for the inevitable headache brought on by being around too many other humans
  • Aleve – cause you drank around the World Showcase
  • Scissors – cause they’re handy
  • Toilet paper – cause even the most magical place on Earth only has 1-ply
  • Gum – cause you can’t buy it anywhere on Disney property. I like Nicorette®. It tastes gross. But I can’t seem to get enough.
  • dollar store knock-off zipper-lock style plastic baggies. I could say Ziploc® itself but let’s face it – you’re gonna cheap out and grab the  Dollarama® “Slide Seal®” ones for your electronics on water rides, leftovers and for packing potentially leaky travel liquids instead of the name brand.
  • The pen you snagged from the hotel
  • However much money you think you need (multiplied by 4)
  • Patience (lolz)
  • Body Glide – unless you love chaffing… you monster
  • A song. Cause if anywhere is going to break out into some sort of grand exposition song + dance number – it’ll happen at Walt Disney World
  • Your appetite. For real. Portions are gigantic.
  • A hat
  • Sunscreen
  • Hand soap for your hotel room (especially if it’s right after Xmas and you’re able to get citrus-wreath Softsoap® on clearance for 27¢) because that cruddy little bar of hand soap you get at your hotel is cruddy
  • Pepsi products if that’s your thing. WDW is a pure Coca-Cola property and some people are very passionate about their carbonated corn-syrup water.
  • Unnecessarily long lists
  • Whatever you need to convince yourself buying a $45 stuffed Dug from Up is a good idea.
  • Your life-partner because loneliness can be crushingly overwhelming.
  • Luck. For additional FP+ choices.
  • Lucky Charms. They’re magically delicious.
  • Prescription medicine. Holy shit you needed a blog post to remember your meds?!?!
  • Sunglasses so you can look cool
  • Baby wipes so you can not look cool cleaning yourself off should you be an adult who got sticky.

That’s about it. Which is to say I’m out of ideas. Thanks for reading. This post was not brought to you by: Ziploc®  although if they want to give us money we’ll take it. Especially if it comes in a sack with a dollar sign that you can tell is sealed because of the purple or green strip.